Who Against Hope Believed In Hope

Today at Church I had one of those days where it seems like everything that is said and taught is directed to you, like you are supposed to be learning a lesson.  You see, in the past few weeks I had been struggling with a number of things, feeling overwhelmed with school and the GRE exam, as well as finishing homework for Scotland.  On top of that, I was struggling personally, with unmet expectations of myself, as well as some painful social situations.  I felt like it was all I could do to keep my head above water and keep treading just to get by to another day.
Then today there were two themes that really touched my soul and made me reflect and ponder.  The first was about making decisions.  One of the speakers in our Stake Presidency asked us to imagine that today was the End, and that I was standing before God today, and then asked if I would be happy with who I am?  How would I feel if that were to happen?  Would I feel satisfied if my mortal journey were through?  There have been times when I would say yes, but the past weeks I don't know that I would.  I know that the Gospel is true, yet the fear and sadness that have been weighing me down demonstrate a lack of faith.  Luckily, I know that there are things that I can do to change that, there are little decisions that I can make to bring a greater level of peace into my life.
Which brings me to the second related theme, that the Gospel is all about hope!  In reality the Gospel is all about looking at where we are, and more importantly who we are, and then helping us become better, or bringing us closer to God.  Think about it, we are the children of God.  He loves us, and His plan is perfect and can provide opportunities for us to return to Him.  As Elder Oaks once said,

I am a child of God with a spirit lineage to heavenly parents. That parentage defines our eternal potential. That powerful idea is a potent antidepressant. It can strengthen each of us to make righteous choices and to seek the best that is within us.


What a beautiful realization that is.  This then made me think of some of my favorite scriptures, in Romans chapters 4 and 8.  Both are about hope, in Romans 8 talking about Abraham and the promise of posterity.  Romans 8:14 says that Abraham, "against hope believed in hope."  Abraham was old, his wife was old, people don't have kids then, to think that was against all hope, yet he trusted in the promises of Jehovah despite the seeming absurdity of the promises.  Thus he believed in hope, he had a surety that the promises of God would be fulfilled.  That is what I had been lacking, I had been lacking faith, I had started doubting God's promises to me, of a happy life, of future opportunities, and thus I had struggled.  The second scripture in Romans 8:35-39 tells us why that hope will never die, and it is because of the love of Christ.  Paul asks, "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?" he then names a number of things that try, tribulations, pain, the hardships and stresses of life.  But then he answers resoundingly, "Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors, through him that loved us."  In essence Paul is pleading with us to remember that there is always hope, always something ahead, always something to look forward to because of Jesus Christ.  His love can overcome all barriers, all powers and all trials.  The love of Christ can heal wounded hearts.  
So this is a little random, and rambles, but I guess in the end there are times we all need to be reminded to "against hope believe in hope."  Trust God that He will provide answers to your struggles, from self inflicted spiritual wounds, to the fear of unmet hopes, to the sorrows of broken hearts.  Believe in hope, trust in God and make the little decisions that bring us closer to Him, and then we can look at our lives and realize that we would feel comfortable standing before Him.